Friday 6th September 2013 ... Jacqui Searson

Hello you two ... been thinking of you today

Note from Sharon
Hi Jacqui, and this in itself is a sign ... thank you
When I am feeling teary and sad and missing Tanya so much, I remember the words of the clairvoyant and I know she is safe and happy
It helps me more than you will ever know

Note from Jacqui


Monday 9th September 2013 ... Gary Jackson

Hey, how you going ??

Note from Sharon
Well, Gary, we are getting through the days
But it is terrible ... the tears are never far away
A piece of us is missing and it is not right
I can't see that we will ever be truly happy again but we have each other and we just have to go on
It seems as though Our Beautiful Girl still has the power to inspire people and we love reading the posts people leave on her Facebook Page
Geoff saves them all and they are on Tanya's Memorial Page ... HERE
I go to crossfit and am keeping fit
It is hard to go because Tanya isn't there, but she would be cross if I stopped and I am fairly sure she is keeping an eye on us
Some of Tanya's friends have joined us
I am also training for the Half Marathon at Port Douglas in November
I had an email from Tanya in my inbox which said "you know you want to run it with me!" ... so I am and Brett is running with me
It is a real challenge for both of us !!
I see you are keeping fit and enjoying your family ... it is great to see
This was a very long answer to "hey how are you going" but thank you for asking !!

Wednesday 11th September 2013 ... Kelly Richardson

Hi Sharon and Geoff
I just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you both so very much, all the time ... Brett and Kahlia also
But more than ever on days like today
Sending you all love and strength, now and always

Note from Geoff
Thanks so much for this, Kelly, and for your post on Tanya's Page
This morning could only be described as heartbreaking
Sharon passes the 'Bike' each day going to and from work, but as you said, there are days like today that are almost unbearable
She was so sad and upset as she drove off
Tonight she is going for a run, and I think she'll run hard, scream out her anger and sadness, and swear that this is so unfair
We miss Our Girl so much, all the time
Thank you again for your contact and messages ... they really do help us

Note from Sharon
Hi Kelly, and yes, thank you for your post and email ... they help us so much
You have so much to deal with yourself ... you truly are a special person to care so much for us and our well being
I had a very sad day today and I cried a lot
On the way to work, at work, during my lunch hour when I went to the esplanade, on the way home from work and now, while I am writing to you
So many emotions in my mind today
I went for a thirty minute run today after work and Geoff waited for me at "Tanya's Spot" at Trinity Beach
I was talking to her as I was running, trying to explain that even though she is not here in body, she is with me in my heart
She is in my mind all the time and I will continue to talk with her and about her and tell her things and even gossip with her about people in inappropriate clothing !!
As Geoff suggested in his note to you, I started running hard and I did want to scream out at the injustice of it all but at the same time I, or even maybe Tanya was telling me, realised that I have to go on and not give up on life
I have to be strong for Geoff and Brett and Tanya's memory and that is what I will try to do
She sent me a sign tonight !!
I could always see Tanya from a distance when she was running because her thumbs were always sticking up
Check out this photo

Today when I was almost home a guy came running toward me
His thumbs were sticking straight up in the air ... he looked ridiculous ... I nearly ran off the road looking at him
It made me smile for the first time today
Thanks for your thoughts today and every day, Kelly, and our love to you and your family
Sharon, and Tanya, because she would be happy you are helping us

Note from Kelly
Oh, I love that photo ... loved it when Tanya posted it ... love it even more now !!
I thought she was giving the 'thumbs up' as the train was passing
Well, Sharon, I think she definitely sent you a sign because in all my years of running I can not recall ever seeing someone run like that !!
I do the opposite, and tuck my thumbs in
I know it is not comparable in any way, but I know some of what numbers/dates can do
Aidan's birthday is always a struggle as he is another year older, as are the end of school and beginning of school when the grade number clicks over
I get how a number can bring you to your knees as I see it happen all the time to my DMD parent friends whose sons have lost their battle
It's bad enough knowing that will be my turn one day, because even now the pain of only knowing the time will come is sometimes too much, and so I hate so much that you are now living it, in that world, and with that type of incomprehensible pain
I am truly heartbroken for you both, and I really hope that on the really tough days you are able to find even a few moments of peace
And that over time those few moments will slowly increase so that one day your mind, and your heart, is able to rest a little, and give you a little space to continue living and moving forward with the most wonderful memories, but them being laced with far less pain, because I know that is what Tanya would want for you

Note from Sharon
Thank you so much, Kelly ... we treasure your words

Monday 16th September 2013 ... Paulo Roneberg

Nice foto ... wish you all the best

Wednesday 18th September 2013 ... Claire Warren

Hey, all the best for today and wishing for a good, positive outcome..........(court case ... HERE and HERE)
Sending you all lotsa love always
Love, Claire
I can't stop thinking of Tanya

Note from Geoff
Thanks, Claire, and I'll send you a note when we get home ... the case is listed for 2.15pm
Appreciate your wishes
We think of her too, all the time ... it is really, really hard sometimes but we just get through with a single day at a time

Note from Geoff
Hi again, Claire, and I have just posted a note on Tanya's Page about the outcome from yesterday
A 'guilty' plea, but the case still will not be finalised until next year
We really love hearing from you

Note from Claire
Thank you
I love keeping in touch with you all and T's friends, so I'm glad it's okay with you too
We have to, so we can keep her close
Thanks again for the update and await next one when you know
Love always

Thursday 19th September 2013 ... Jacqui Searson

Tough day yesterday !!..........(court case ... HERE and HERE)
Sending you both lots of love
You are both inspirational

Note from Sharon
Thanks, Jacqui
We just get through the days and we cry a lot but we manage to have some laughs as well
We know who would be super proud of you though, don't we ??
Even though it's hard, and once you get over the pain cause you will be fitter, you will feel awesome and want to be doing all sorts of fun things !!

Note from Jacqui
Thanks for the encouragement
I am sore but giving up does not enter my radar at all
I'm more determined about this than I think I have ever been

Tuesday 24th September 2013 ... Jacqui Searson ... Facebook Post

Note from Sharon
Hey Jacqui
That goal you have for next year ... that was on Tanya's list of things to do
As soon as she found out it was available she was checking out dates and prices !!
I wouldn't have minded going with her too !!

Note from Jacqui
Really ??
I laughed at myself when I saw it and felt excited
What the hell has happened to the old me ... I would have paid money not to go !!
I'm not good enough yet but how about I touch base with you when the dates for next year are up ??
I'm up to five sessions a week now, Sharon
Feeling sore but marvellous !!

Note from Sharon
Lots of people say they are not fit enough to come to crossfit ... I keep saying they have to come to get fit
You don't compete against anyone else, just yourself, so that means you are good enough to go visit the Commando whenever you like !!
As for me, thanks for the thought but that would be hard to do without 'My Girl' ... but if you go I want to hear all about it
Glad you are feeling so good
We went to Tanya's "Spot at the Beach" today ... it was a glorious day
Geoff and I had a quiet peaceful weekend ... the first for a while ... still pretty sad though

Note from Jacqui
I totally understand Sharon ... and yes, you're right about the weird phenomenon of wanting to be fit before you join the gym
Hilarious really when you think of it
I'm glad you had a peaceful weekend despite the sadness
You really are both very brave and amazing
My husband saw me doing my Bootcamp Session on the weekend and told me that even though he doesn't believe in "all that stuff", he thinks that Tanya must be watching down on and helping me
He can't believe the things I was doing !!
Running with ropes and weights attached to me, hundreds of reps of push ups, burpees, squats and all the other things I still don't know the name of !!
A few weeks ago, I couldn't even do ten pushups
Not sure if it's divine intervention, but I know when I'm really struggling I ask Tanya to help me
And I also hum the 'Rocky Balboa' theme song ... lol
Much love to you ... chat soon

Saturday 28th September 2013 ... Sharon to her cousin Erina (extract)

Time passing doesn’t make coping any easier as far as we are concerned and some days are a real struggle
Beautiful hot sunny days like today are sad because I keep thinking Tanya would be out doing something and having fun and I get angry because she isn’t here
Just have to breathe deeply and remember what she did do and how much joy she gave us
But it’s hard sometimes when all I want her to do is send me a text and rock up in her red car and go to the beach with her

Note from Erina
Hi Sharon
And it must be stressful with the court case dragging out for more months ... very distressing for Tanya's family and friends
It was good to hear from you
I have been meaning to ring and think of you and the family often

Saturday 5th October 2013 ... Louise Ottewell

Hi Sharon, how are you ??
I saw the new flowers on Tanya's bike yesterday ... pretty !!......(click HERE and scroll down to Saturday 21st September 2013)
I always say hello to her when I drive past
I imagine her saying "get out on your bike instead of sitting in your car !!"
Well that's not going to happen today but I will have a glass of wine for her later

Note from Sharon
Hi Louise, and we are still very much one day at a time and I can't see that changing
She is missing so much and we are missing her
We wondered if anyone would notice the new flowers ... they are pretty
Tanya liked both ... riding her bike and drinking wine ... so don't feel too bad !!

Note from Louise
One day at a time is all you can do
I have no idea what you are going through but I do know you have a lot of love and support
She lives on through her family and friends and made such an impact on us all
Not many people can leave that as their legacy
I always look at Tanya's bike and will stop by soon to leave her a gift ... I already know what it will be

Note from Sharon
The love and support we have is amazing, that's for sure
We love that people talk to her on Facebook and to us as well
Giving Tanya a gift is a sweet thing to do ... thank you !!

Note from Louise
You gave Tanya to us, even if only for a short while

Note from Sharon
Thanks, Louise

Saturday 5th October 2013 ... Gary Jackson

How did the crossfit session go this morning ??

Note from Sharon
It was tough going, Gary ... Saturday mornings are hard for us because Tanya was on her way to see us
Brett had a very hard and fast and quick workout for us ... he reckons that we all talk too much and that means we are not working hard enough !!
We finished with a three minute workout ... "Sally goes up - Sally goes down" ... which is back squats to a song
Very hard and I know Tanya would have loved it ... she always said she could do squats til the cows came home !!

Note from Gary
LoL ... sounds intense ... bet you enjoyed it though
How is Brett going ??
Do you do it down on the beach near the stair case ??

Note from Sharon
We do it at the Trinity Beach Baseball Fields
We have a small shed where we keep all our gear
We have done beach workouts in the past and the stairs are always part of it
Tanya had us going up the one-hundred-and-two stairs ... two at a time ... ten times usually with burpees and pushups in between !!
Brett is doing okay ... he keeps busy at work and commutes from Darwin
He misses his sister a lot ... they were very close
If you would like to try a crossfit session with us just give me a call
I train with the group Mondays and Thursdays at 5.40pm and Saturdays at 7.00am

Note from Gary
It does sound interesting and I'm sure Tanya is watching every step and probably quietly encouraging you all

Note from Sharon
Tanya was never quietly encouraging ... she was very loud about it and that's what we loved about her training sessions !!

Note from Gary
LoL

Monday 7th October 2013 ... Natasha Adams

Hi Sharon and Geoff

Just noticed that you "liked" the photos of my Nana's birthday today
I mentioned to you both on Saturday what happened to my mother, on the 15th March 2005
My mother, Natalie, was fourty eight when she was killed, and about to become a grandmother a week later
This is my mum's mum who turned eighty seven today !!
She is an extraordinary woman and a true battler that has been through hell most of her life
The last eight and a half years have been even more heartbreaking for her, but still she has a smile and a kind word for almost everyone she meets
I hold her in the highest regard and believe that she is the definition of strength and love
After meeting with you both on Saturday, I can somewhat understand your anger, bitterness, sadness and grief
The death of a loved one, especially when it is an 'incident' that did not need to happen, or could have been prevented, is always the hardest to fathom and comprehend
My family, unfortunately, is also familiar with what has become the new 'normal' ... that is minus a daughter, mother, grandmother, sister
Please know that we all hold you close to our hearts and are always in our thoughts

Note from Sharon
We are just so glad that you and the others are around

Tuesday 8th October 2013 ... Stella and Emiel

We are so very sorry to see that Tanya has passed away in such a sudden painful way for all of you
Our deepest sympathy and we wish you all the best at this difficult time

Note from Geoff
Hi Stella and Emiel ... many, many thanks for this note
Sharon and I are completely devasted and heartbroken and we always will be ... time will do nothing
Tanya ... beautiful, healthy, fit ... and enjoying every minute of her busy happy life
We are a very close family and spent so much time together
Whether it was Brett's baseball or Tanya's triathlons or just meeting with friends a few times a week to do crossfit exercises
It is damn hard to know that she can never join us again
Her circle of hundreds of friends have been really terrific and they help us get through each day but the sadness and reminders of her are all around us
I have no idea if you have seen it, but I have put together a "Memorial Albumn" for her and this can be accessed by clicking HERE
This is being constantly updated as her friends post various messages and notes on Tanya's Facebook page
In respect to the court case, we have been told that it may not be finalised until next year
I know that nothing can bring Our Precious Daughter back, but I want him to die !!
All the very best to you two and this contact was very nice

Wednesday 9th October 2013 ... Jim Mackail

Hi Sharon, and I was in Cairns last week for the first time since Tanya's death
I went to the crash site (HERE) and also to the stairs at Trinity Beach (HERE) and had a few quiet words
I hope life is improving for you all

Note from Sharon
Thanks Jim, and that was nice of you
I wouldn't say life is improving but we are getting through one day at a time ... which I say a lot !!
Tanya's friends have been wonderful ... so kind and thoughtful
Pretty sad though ... but it's amazing to see the impact she had
We love keeping contact with them through Facebook
Thanks again