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Reference ... Friday 14th February 2020

Contact between Loren Ginders and Sharon

From: Loren Ginders
Subject: PARTY Program
Date: Wed, January 22, 2020 8:50 am
To: sharon@ronebergcairns.com
Hi, Sharon
I run the Prevention of Alcohol and Risk Related Trauma in Youth Program at the Cairns Hospital
I heard via Dr Katrina Starmer that you would be interested
in speaking to the students on the program about the tragic loss of your daughter, Tanya
I would be very keen to have you involved if possible
Would it be alright to give you a call to have a chat ??
When would be a suitable time for you ??
Kind regards
Loren Ginders
Donation Specialist Nurse | DonateLife Queensland
Intensive Care Unit | Cairns Hospital
a: The Esplanade Cairns QLD 4870
t: 07 4226 7148
m: 0419 281 619
e: loren.ginders@health.qld.gov.au

From: Loren Ginders
Subject: PARTY Program
Date: Mon, January 27, 2020 7:41 pm
To: sharon@ronebergcairns.com
Hi, Sharon
Sorry I haven’t emailed you sooner … I haven’t been at work for a few days
If you are available on 14th February that would be great
The other dates would be 3rd April, 29th May, 24th July and 11th September
There is no problem if any of those dates aren’t suitable
We hold the program in A Block on the 3rd Floor in Nursing Education Room 1
The time for your talk would be 2.15pm but often we run a little late as it is a really busy day and hard to keep the kids on time
However long you would like to speak is okay
I do have PowerPoint if you wish to show any pictures
Parking is often hard to find at the hospital at that time of the day, I’m sorry to say
Please call me or email me with any queries
I am on leave until 12th February but contactable on laginders@gmail.com
Looking forward to meeting you again
Thanks so much
Regards

The Presentation
by my wife and tanya and brett's mum

I was asked here today to tell you my story

For many years I would see a news item or story about a road tragedy and I would think – Oh My God, those poor people – how will they go on !!
Many times I recall saying “We are so lucky ... we have never had any tragedy in our lives”
And then at 7.00am on Saturday morning the 11th May 2013, Our Beautiful Daughter and Sister Tanya Mary was hit and killed by a drunk driver on the Cook Highway while she was changing a tyre on her bike
She was hit at 110km and she flew thirty feet in the air and landed in a ditch
My Baby ... ... can you imagine !!
It was the day before Mother’s Day
We had become “One of Those Families” that I used to feel sorry for

The shock and horror of that day never leaves us
Almost seven years later, we still struggle to live without her

She was the Queen of Birthdays and Christmas, always thinking of little things to make them "Special" for us
We can’t run and ride and hike together
I can’t do her hair for a night out
We can't go and have a coffee together

I have to be busy all the time with my mind and hands ... if I am not, my mind goes back to that time
I cry for the life she should be living and how we miss her so much ... it is always there

I drive past her Ghost Bike on the Cook Highway every day
I always check to see if her Flowers are okay
Other times I think ... she was just on her way to workout with us
Aprobably wondering how many burpees her Brother was going to make her do
And the next moment she was dead !! !!

Mostly on a daily basis I try to live my life so she would be proud of me
She was proud that I could lift weights and that was old and fit !!
I remember the great times we had, the exciting life she lived , how much I love her, how much she loved Me, her Dad and her Brother
And all her zillions of Friends

These road tragedies have a devastating and lasting effect
Families, friends, co-workers, and also the First Responders
All the Emergency Services, Doctors and Nurses
What they must see !! ... and none of it is necessary !!

I have been asked a few times by "TMR" ... Transport and Main Roads ... to speak about what happened to Tanya and Our Family and I am pleased to be able to speak to you today
(( TMR - this is also my Daughter's initials ... always gives my heart a little jolt !! ))
I understand today's experience here is to help you see and understand the effects one bad decision can have
It is not to frighten you but help make you aware of the life long consequences that comes with a bad decision

You do not want to be like Us !!
You do not want your Mother to be like me - having to bury her Precious Daughter
We are broken hearted

Our son Brett had to deal with everything
We were in shock ... I don't know what we would have done without him
He had to tell us about Tanya because the police went to him as they were under the impression they were husband and wife
He then came, with the police, to our home

As well as losing his sister who absolutely loved him to bits he lost the Parents he used to have
Tragedy changes us in so many ways
We want 'normal' and we can't have it
We have to deal with the 'new normal' and it isn't fair to Him or Us

You do not want your Parents to lose You
Imagine what it would to to them ... and your Brothers and Sisters and your Grandparents and Friends
The pain NEVER ends ... you do not want to lose anyone in your Family

What about the person who killed them ??
We say murder in our Family because that is what it is
The hate and anger you feel for that person eats at you
Some people say you should forgive – not me – not our Family – it is not possible
He was drunk and he killed our daughter

What about if you killed someone ??
You don't want those feelings directed at you as well as having to live with the fact that you killed someone
How would you cope ??
You may be having a great life with wonderful exciting plans which is what I wish for all of you
BUT – if you make that bad decision, your life will never be the same

I understand that alcohol and drugs are the cause of a very high percentage of road incidents
I was part of a Road Safety Initiative last year
Tanya was a "little bossy" sometimes and this her to a "T"
"TANYA SAYS - DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE - SO DON'T !!"

Take good care of yourselves and each other and Thank You for listening

Note from Sharon after the Presentation

I was well prepared  for my talk about Tanya and Us
And, yes, I was a little nervous too !!
The room had three rows of tables and chairs
There were about thirty students from Year 11 and 12 at Redlynch State School
Plus around half a dozen teachers
I took the photo we have in a frame of Tanya after the Iron Man
Along with a few laminated photos of Tanya, Brett and Me
I think it was important for the students to see Tanya and Us
to make it real to them and not just a story they were hearing
I think I did okay ... they asked me back anyway !!

Comment from Loren Ginders
Hi, Sharon
Thank you so much for coming along on Friday to speak to the students
You spoke really well and did a great job
See you on the 3rd April
Kind Regards

Reply from Sharon
Thank you, Loren
I will be there
Regards

The photos Sharon took ... as she mentions above

















Message from Shay Latimer to Sharon

My friend was at the "P.A.R.T.Y Program" with the Redlynch School on Friday
Thank You for having the strength to talk to the kids
I have been to this in the past but was unable to go due to my own trauma resurfacing recently
I was hit by a drunk driver and two of my friends were killed when we were kids
This is the best program I’ve seen
And the real life experiences told to these kids is what makes them think twice
So thank you from the bottom of my heart for having the strength to share your story

Reply from Sharon
Wow !! ... Thank You, Shay
I am so sorry for what happened to You and your Friends
Such a terrible tragedy and as you have experienced, it never leaves you
When I was approached to speak I immediately said "YES"
Tanya was tapping me on the shoulder telling me I had to do it !!
She gives me the strength to share this journey we are on without falling apart
You are right ... it is a great program
And I believe it can't help but make these kids think twice
Thanks again for your note

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